Day 91: Mile 1048.9 - 1069.7
I was all set up to be disappointed today.
I had started setting goals for the day, nothing big, just little points-to-hit. The first: make 10 miles before noon. The common adage is "10 before 10", meaning 10 miles before 10am, but "10 before 12" is what I got going now--I'll work up to "10 before 10". Plus I made 10 before 12 yesterday, so this would maintain that streak. The second: make it to Forestdale Creek, about 24 miles away. We made 21 miles yesterday, so this would *build* on that, extending our daily mileage.
Yeah, didn't make either of those.
I know that "arbitrary goal is arbitrary", and they only matter as much as I make them matter, but I still feel bad when I miss. Disappointed. And in the afternoon, hiking along, realizing that I wouldn't make either, I started to get those disheartening thoughts. The calculations started swirling in my head, the idea that I'm moving too slow, need to move faster, need to start earlier, need to do this and that to improve my chances of making it to Canada in time.
And then my left shoulder started twinging complaining of a bit of overuse. But I still felt gung ho, still felt I could push it and should push it and make bigger miles. Then I had to stop to dig a cathole and, after that, starting moving again and just felt the sheer exhaustion of the body. And I realized there are some things I can do--I can start earlier (I had started later in the day today for "reasons")--but there are lots I can't: I can't go faster (my speed is my speed), I can't push harder (there's a fine line between persistent effort and pushing until breaking, and I've proven very good at breaking so it's best not to cross that line). I have what I have: the point isn't to break that, it's to work around that. And I still have this cold, and I still can't take a full breath without soreness, and now my left shoulder is starting to break down too, and my feet are starting to feel the distance (the pads are intimating that they will get sore again), so the whole body's having trouble. So taking a zero in South Lake Tahoe--to properly try to rest from the Sierras--shouldn't feel that guilty. (It still feels a little guilty.)
I got ahead of the group in the afternoon, and did the last part of the hike--a crossing of effectively a pass, walking on a shelf trail along scree, with the wind howling and pushing me off my feet in parts--on my own. I got to the junction we agreed upon around 6:30pm, waited for a bit to see if anybody would catch up, then when nobody did, wandered a bit off-trail to some campsites around Lost Lakes around 7pm and set up camp. Dylan came by around 7:30pm, started setting up his tent. I was in my tent, finishing my sleeping pad inflation, when I got out and saw that Uno had come in, was sitting on a rock and Dylan was kneeling beside her. Hmm, that's strange. I went over and turns out that Uno had had a fall on the pass, had tripped, fell forward, and hit her head on a rock. Had blacked out. Her head was throbbing, she had a cut on her nose (although the nose didn't look broken), the trails of wet tears from the pain down her face.
And suddenly all my disappointment didn't matter, and taking a zero day in South Lake Tahoe made perfect sense. Luckily as other hikers came in, one--trail name of Paris--was a nurse, and he did a quick cognitive check. Mostly a follow my finger with your eyes, can you touch my finger with yours then touch your nose, sort of thing. We gave her acetaminophen for the pain (*not* ibuprofen, because it can thin the blood, warned Paris), tried to make her comfortable. She got in her sleeping bag early to lay down a bit; I recommended elevating her head some since I figured that would help the blood drain down some and maybe help the throbbing a bit--we used her clothes bag for that. Dylan and I know very little about concussion protocol--Dylan does know that you're not supposed to sleep afterward, but I said that she's just hiked 20+ miles and she's tired so I don't think we can stop her sleeping. Dylan made dinner for her. I do know that one thing to watch for with head injuries is dizziness or nausea--those are bad signs--so dinner was something bland: mashed potatoes and Spam, followed by a warm herbal tea (no caffeine). The rest was just creating a sense of solidity: I remember one of the benefits of Brian checking up on me wasn't necessarily that he gave medical advice, but that there were concrete things to do and concrete things to watch out for--there were things to hold on to--and that helped. So I tried to do the same here: keep track of dosages, put in the warnings for any sign of dizziness or nausea, advocate a plan for tomorrow (we hike to Carson Pass, where there's a road and a possible hitch to South Lake Tahoe if necessary, but one of us--either Dylan or myself--stays with her the entire day). Just put plans in place that you can hold on to. Are they the right plans? No idea. But I think this is a case where the solidity of a plan--any plan--has benefit.
And an injured hiker in your own group does a lot to throwing out concerns of making it to Canada in time. Forget Canada for now, forget my vague feelings of disappointment: making sure Uno is ok, getting her out if necessary (there are some car campers on the far side of the campgrounds--I had talked to them when I first arrived, so I think I have enough rapport that we can ask them for a ride into town if needed), helping her recover (she's going to have a headache for the next couple days, Paris warned), that's the important thing for the next few days. Everything else is incidental.
-- Sherald Lake > Raymond Meadows Creek > Pennsylvania Creek > Raymond Canyon Creek > Raymond Lake Junction > Wet Meadows Junction > Tamarack Lake Outlet > Blue Lakes Road > Lost Lakes
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