Post-trail: Week 2, Irvine

And so, finally, I was back home.

So one of the questions I've consistently gotten since returning is: how has it been integrating back into normal life? Is it strange being back home? Is it difficult readjusting? And for this week at least, the answer has been: it's not that bad. And maybe it's because I don't have a job to rush back to, or some other external deadline encroaching. Rather, in a lot of ways it's been the same as it was on the trail: it's still just me dictating what happens every day, just the setting has changed. And I admit that the scenery of my apartment doesn't compare to that of the PCT; I don't deny that the setting is important so changing it *is* significant. But I will say about being at home setting: fundamentally I think of myself as an Indoor--rather than an Outdoor--person. Even when I was on trail, I would dream of being ensconced in a library carrel, hidden amongst the stacks, working away at some technical problem with pen and paper, or their modern equivalents of keyboard and screen. (And I suspect that in a strange way this intrinsic inclination towards an epitome of Being Inside is why I gravitated towards the PCT, an epitome of Being Outside: exactly because it goes *against* my natural grain. Because I have this little pet theory that it's in doing things that go against my natural grain--in pursuing areas where I *don't* have natural talent--that I ultimately grow, and that's why those such things are appealing!) Which is to say that if you tell me I'll be at home, inside my own apartment, for days on end, with the prerogative to dictate my own schedule, well, that's just indulging my natural sweet spot anyway!

And what did I dictate with said prerogative? Well, there is post-trail cleanup of course: cleaning gear, charging things, washing things--all just like I'd do in any town. Then there's the preparation for returning to normal life: a doctor's appointment, checking finances, fixing the things that have broken down in the apartment, and lots of tarried paperwork and forms. And finally there's the look-ahead to post-trail work, which was mostly writing scripts for handling five-plus months of photos (including a rather involved script to read a spreadsheet and start building preview panoramas, HDR-shots, and HDR-panoramas--such composite shots take a lot of time and effort to assemble, so previews help me determine which efforts will be worth the trouble!). But the interesting thing, I think, was not the tasks themselves, but the feeling while doing them. Traditionally, when I make a to-do list, I start thinking in terms of efficiencies, planning out dependencies, searching for multi-tasking opportunities. And inevitably get a bit discouraged when the day ends and there's still undone things remaining on the list. But for some reason, this week, that didn't seem to matter. Throughout the week, it was more, well, if I get anything done, then that'll be fine: I didn't feel the pressure to achieve. So things went slowly, and as always there were still things left on the to-do list at the end of the day, it just didn't seem to matter. And I know this ease is a lingering result of the trail, I just don't know if it's transitional or more permanent.

There was one event in the week. When I worked at JPL, I played in a softball league, and my old team was having their end-of-season shindig on Thursday. And even though I haven't played in years, I still receive the team emails, so I decided to drop in. The team has clearly changed since my days: I only recognized a few faces. But I did get to talk to some folks. As expected, there were questions about the trail, but I did find that if I talk to folks and answer the initial slew of questions, usually I'd be able to turn the conversation from talking about me to talking about them which is, honestly, more interesting. It's a bit selfish on my part, to be sure, but I'm self-centered that way. And some new perspectives did start to encroach. And I spoke with Oliver and ruminated about different trails, getting a hint on what it's like to hike in the UK (seems to always involve ending at the pub!), and even talking about some good trails here in the US. And I started realizing that a lot of hikes which I had thought of as abstract things before the trail--hikes that were nice-to-do but still pie in the sky--were much more concrete now: all I have to do is to reach out and *hike* them. There's really nothing else stopping me from doing them. And I spoke with Kyle, and realized I'm now in the same real-world boat as he is, which is the "between jobs" catamaran. And in that boat, there's the question of how far you dare to dream, how much you're willing to stake on taking a Turn into Left Field. Because conventional baseball wisdom will tell you that when you get Big Eyes and swing for the fences, sure, sometimes it goes out, but most of the time it just ends up a can of corn at the warning track. But on the other hand, the trail has also shown that it's possible to go Strangely, to do "Crazy" Things, and come back more or less intact. This is something that I get to think--I'm giving myself until the end of the year to before I need to start making actual decisions.

So that was the week! A slow week, starting to knock things off the long to-do list I had built while on the trail and on the train, yet an unconcerned one and, ultimately, rather comfortable.

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Some notes:
-- Surprisingly, only a couple of things broke down in the apartment. This is thanks to Dan, who came in every couple of weeks and made sure things were still in order, and ran the water. So I was happy to find that things like the dishwasher were still running (usually if it doesn't run every couple months, the motor will freeze up). But the things that stopped: the garbage disposal (the motor got cranky), and the washer (the switch embedded in the lid somehow broke). Luckily the repairs were quick and pretty easy--the maintenance guy took, what, all of 10 minutes?--so nothing severe.
-- I did get a phone appointment with my doctor (in-person appointments are booked into November), and got some advice for recovery. Given the pain in my joints and feet, he recommended de-escalating physical activity although not stopping it entirely. One big hike a week should be good for maintaining at least some of the fitness I gained on the PCT, but also he recommended looking into things like swimming and biking, which don't put as much pressure on the joints. Given the swelling in my feet, he recommended wearing a gentle sock to impose a bit of compression, and watching my salt intake. Given the lingering effects from my fall and the bruised ribs, he recommended looking into deep breathing activities, maybe some yoga breathing (regarding it more medicinal than meditative). And finally, I asked what I should be eating, and he recommended a standard balanced diet: half fruits and vegetables, a quarter protein, a quarter carbohydrates. And hydrate: "aggressively hydrate", he said. So it looks like I'll be able to resume my Saturday day-hikes with the blessing of the medical establishment, and I should probably look into getting a bike (just to get around town: improves fitness and saves me on gas) and getting back into the pool. Hmm, plenty of things to take up!